Make a personal AI assistant useful

The short version

1. Start with a brain dump of everything on your mind. Let your assistant sort it and start.
2. Begin with research, plans and drafts.
3. Ask for one clear result. Give your limits and the format you want.
4. Approve anything that spends money, contacts a person, changes your accounts or cannot be undone.
5. Teach it your preferences as they come up.

What is Instinct?

Instinct is a personal AI assistant you text in everyday language. It remembers the preferences and context you share, helps you work out what to do, and can carry out supported tasks through accounts you choose to connect.

You can start without connecting anything. Tell it what's on your mind, or give it one job you'd be glad to stop carrying.

Why use it if I already have ChatGPT or Claude?

The hard part of life admin is often the small jobs around a task, not the task itself:

• remembering the issue
• finding the details
• taking the next step
• checking back that it's done, especially when you're waiting on a company

You text Instinct the outcome you want. It builds on what you've told it before, does the supported steps after your yes, and follows up. The aim is less admin to carry in your head, not another place to collect advice.

Example: returning something to H&M

You bought a jumper from H&M, and you want to return it for a refund.

• In ChatGPT or Claude, you'd usually ask for H&M's returns policy, how to start a return and where to drop it off. Then you do each step yourself, and you have to remember to check that the refund arrives.
• With Instinct, it can find the order in your email and check the returns policy. It shows you what it plans to do. After your yes, it starts the return and tells you that the QR code is in your email. A week after you drop the parcel off, it asks: "Has your H&M refund arrived?" If it hasn't, Instinct finds the support contact and drafts a message for you to check.

For this, you connect your email and give Instinct your H&M login through the secure login option in its app. Never put a password in the chat.

In short, Instinct does the steps it can and follows up, so you aren't left with a to-do list.

1. Start with a brain dump

You do not need to describe yourself first. Start with the admin you are carrying. Your assistant sorts it, says where it can help, and starts on what it can.

Pro tip: just ramble. You do not need a tidy list. Instinct can read dictated speech, and even voice notes.

Leave out passwords, codes, card or bank details, and ID numbers.

Here's everything on my mind right now. Help me organise it:
[bills, bookings, forms, replies I owe, things to buy, dates to remember]

A little context:
- I live in [town or city], on [timezone] time.
- This week I'm busy during [e.g. weekdays 8am to 6pm].
- [Anything else that matters for this list, e.g. if you travel often, when you'd like to be reminded of things]

Please:
1. Group these and put them in order, with deadlines and urgent things first.
2. Say which ones you can help with now, and how.
3. Suggest where to start. Start now on research, plans and drafts for anything that doesn't need me.
4. Ask only the questions that change what we do next.

Before you send, buy, book, cancel, delete or share anything, change my calendar, accounts or settings, or submit a form, show me and wait for my yes.

What happens next

You get your list in order and a place to start. Answer its questions, then say yes to the first step.

When you correct it or state a preference, ask it to remember that. It learns the rest as it becomes useful.

Any boundary you set in a prompt is an instruction, rather than a setting. Test it before you rely on it.

Here's some background. Use it when it helps.

About me
- Priorities for the next 3 months: [up to 3]
- Busy: [e.g. weekdays 8am to 6pm]. Keep free: [e.g. Sunday evenings]
- Food, travel and budgets: [only what your tasks need]
- Answers: [e.g. short, with links]

How to work with me
- Ask only what changes the next step. Carry on with anything that isn't blocked.
- When the choice is mine, give the options and the main trade-off.
- Tell me what you assumed. For prices and times, link to the official site.
- Before you send, buy, book, cancel, delete or share anything, change my calendar, accounts or settings, or submit a form, show me and wait for my yes.
- Off limits: [e.g. work accounts, medical matters]

Tell me what you can remember from this between chats.

2. What it is good at

A personal AI assistant can do more than answer questions. Depending on the product, it may remember things between chats, connect to accounts you choose, send reminders and take some actions for you. Check what yours supports.

Good fits

• Research and compare: find gift ideas, compare hotels and Airbnbs, or work out your options when a purchase goes wrong.
• Plan and organise: turn a messy to-do list into next steps with dates, break a big job such as a house move into steps, plan a weekend, or make a meal plan and shopping list.
• Drafts for you to check: messages, forms and lists, such as a council tax form, a reply about a household issue or a message to customer support.
• Supported actions, after your yes: add an appointment to your calendar, send a draft or start a return. You need a product that supports the action and the right account connected.
• Remember and follow up: keep track of your preferences, remind you about a renewal, or check for a reply when you ask it to.

Being online doesn't make a task possible. Your assistant needs a supported way to do it, access to the right account, and your decision on anything that's yours to decide.

You may need to be more involved in

• When a person needs to be there, like collecting parcels or home visits.
• It can't currently make phone calls for you in the UK, for example to a GP surgery or the council.
• Medical, legal or financial decisions. It can help you prepare. A qualified person must decide.
• Facts that change, such as prices, opening times and stock. It can be wrong and sound sure.
• Anything you do not want a third party to store.

Compared with a to-do list and a human VA

To-do list

It stores the task. You still do the work.

Human virtual assistant

Works to your brief with human judgement. Often a better fit for phone calls and physical errands.

Personal AI assistant

Helps with research, plans, drafts and reminders at any time of day, and some actions where the product supports them. You check important results.

3. How to ask

You don't need a perfect prompt. Ask for the outcome. For example: "I need to sort out this hotel refund. Read the email, tell me my options and draft a reply. Don't send it yet."

If the answer isn't what you need, add more of these four parts:

1. Goal. The result you want.
2. Context. Who, where and when.
3. Limits. Budget, times and things to avoid.
4. Format. A list, a day-by-day plan, a table or a document.

Vague and clear requests

Useful follow-ups

• "What did you assume?"
• "Which facts did you check on an official site?"
• "Which fact, if it is wrong, changes your answer?"
• "Make it shorter."
• "Remember this preference for next time."

When the answer is not useful

• If the options are generic, add your limits.
• If it asks many questions, answer them once. Then ask it to remember the answers.
• If it does something that you did not want, add a boundary and test it again.

4. Check results and set boundaries

Build trust in steps

Move up one step only after your assistant gets the same kind of task right a few times.

1. Research It finds and compares. You still make the final decision.
   Example: three restaurants for Friday near the office.
2. Drafts It prepares a message, a form or a booking. You send or submit it.
   Example: a reply to the school.
3. Actions after your check It asks, you approve the action and then it does it.
   Example: add the Dune tickets to my calendar - they're in my email.
4. Routine actions within rules It acts without asking, for a narrow, low-risk task that you choose.
   Example: add confirmed half-term holiday dates to the family calendar.

Some tasks must stay at step 1 or 2. The next list shows which.

When a person must check

Check the result yourself, every time, if a task:

• spends money, or commits you to pay later (deposits, subscriptions, cancellation fees)
• sends a message to another person, or posts anything
• changes your calendar, accounts or settings
• cannot be undone: cancel, delete, unsubscribe or submit
• is an official form or deadline: passport, visa, tax or school applications
• involves health, legal matters, money or children's details
• depends on an exact time: flights, trains or appointments

Test your boundaries

A boundary you give your assistant is an instruction, not a product setting. This test shows how it handles one workflow.

1. Ask: "Draft an email to me with the subject 'Test'. Show me the text. Don't send it." Read the draft. It may only appear in the chat. Check your Sent folder: nothing should be there.
2. To test a saved draft, ask for one: "Save it as a draft in my email. Don't send it." Check your Drafts and Sent folders.
3. To test sending, approve it as a separate step: "Send it to me now." Check that it arrives once.
4. Do the test again after an app update or a settings change.

Passing shows this workflow behaved as expected this time. It doesn't guarantee how other tasks behave, so keep checking anything on the list above.

Check before you accept

• Dates The right day, time, time zone and year.
• People The right name, email address or phone number.
• Money The total price, with fees, delivery and tax.
• Terms The cancellation and refund rules.
• Sources Open one link. Make sure that it goes to the official site.
• Assumptions Anything that it guessed.

Connect the minimum

• Connect only the accounts you need. Keep other accounts out.
• Connect one account at a time, when a task needs it.
• Never put a password or code in the chat. If Instinct needs a login to act for you, use the secure login option in its app. Other products may not have one.
• Disconnecting an account doesn't necessarily delete data already collected. Check the product's current privacy or help pages. Instinct's routes are in section 6.

5. Three next tasks

Try these after your brain dump, in this order.

Task 1: Do the first item

Step 1 and 2: research and a draft. Nothing is sent.

Let's start on [the first item from your plan].
Find what I need to know and tell me the next step.
Draft anything I need to send, but don't send it.
Tell me what you assumed.

A good result: the facts you need, with links, one clear next step and a draft you can use.

Check: open one link. Read the draft before you send it yourself.

Task 2: Add to your calendar, with a reminder

Step 3: your first action, after your check.

First, connect your calendar if your product supports this. If it does not, ask for a list that you can add yourself.

From my plan, add [these items] to my calendar. Remind me on Friday at 9am about [one item].

First show me each event with the day, date, time and time zone.
Wait for my "yes" before you add them.

A good result: it shows the list, waits for your yes, then adds the events.

Check: open your calendar app. Look at one event: the date, time, time zone and calendar. On Friday, make sure that the reminder arrives.

Next: if it added events before you said yes, check its approval settings and tell it again to wait for your yes.

Task 3: A gift shortlist

Step 1: research.

[Name]'s birthday is on [date].
Suggest gifts under [amount] that arrive by [date].
If something about them would change your picks, ask me first.

For each gift, give the price with delivery, the delivery date, the returns policy and a link. Do not buy.

A good result: a short list, each gift with the four facts and a link.

Check: open each link. Check the price, stock and delivery date on the shop's own site.

Next: you buy the gift yourself. After a few good shortlists, you can ask it to prepare the order for you to check, if your product supports this.

6. Notes on Instinct